Post by Flan Ashley on Jun 29, 2007 22:26:03 GMT -5
Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the New Jersey market:
" Tenafly Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Riverside Square. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
" Paramus Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
" Asbury Park Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
" Alpine Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
" 609er(South NJ) Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
" Hoboken Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
" Tuckerton Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Deland Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
" Cranford Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two UCF Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
" Lodi Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
" Sussex County Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
" State House(Politicians) Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
"Monmouth County Barbie"
This Barbie is the true epitome of a shore girl. She doesn't need a man to make her feel good. She knows where the best waves are, and where to go to avoid the BENNIES. Her parents may or may not have money, but she is the definition of a REAL shore girl. No fake tan, drama, or guido ex-boyfriends. She knows what she wants, has a mouth on her, and yet always is classy. She can go from beach to bar in seconds. The bottom line is: If you are ever lucky enough to be with this girl, you have won the lottery...never let her go.
Morris County Barbie:
Comes with a complimentary credit card good at the rockaway mall, and when dipped in warm water, her skin tans. Comes with an 'easy to open package', there is no ken doll, but his brothers Brian and Robert are available for a limited time only.
Ocean County Barbie ( also comes with a 609 area code)
Gorgeous in every aspect, knows how to party and doesnt matter what day of the week it is. Pumps kegs, funnels beers. The only thing she chases are her shots, boys flock to her. Goes to the beach NOT the shore. Always willing to get down and dirty. Not prissy by any means plays sports, and plays them well. Goes to the best beaches and is not fazed but the fake people that live on the island for 2 months out of the year, she is able to appreciate it even in the winter. Whether rich or poor, neither is important; she is the best girl you will come by. Dont fuck with ocean county barbie because she'll burn you, bad. comes with a pair of rainbow flip flops and bottle of oil for the beach. Lives the best life there is; that of a beach bum. All other barbies are jealous of her hunky surfer boyfriend, Ken.
Here's another one
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Middlesex County dolls for the Central, NJ Market:
South Brunswick-Plainsboro Barbie: She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV; a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house.
Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Monroe Twp Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell Phone included, headset sold separately.
New Brunswick Barbie: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Colonia Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Piscataway-Middlesex Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
East Brunswick Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at The McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
South River Barbie: This gum chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of South River Pub Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also
available with a mobile home, trailer, and various accessories you can store in her front or side yard.
Fords-Hopelawn Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want nor need a Ken doll. If you purchase two Barbie's and the optional Subaru
wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
Perth Amboy Barbie: This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired Pennsylvania plates and three baby Barbie's' in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket Lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand from a lawn cutting accident. Green cards are not available for Perth Amboy Barbie or Ken.
North Brunswick Barbie: This is the Barbie that wishes she could live on Long Beach Island but she is not gay. She owns a Volvo loves to try and be a good mom, always has a soccer ball in the car for her kids. This doll comes with her sons monster Toyota pick up truck and a jet ski.
Laurence Harbor -Cliffwood Beach Barbie: Has no fear of men because she lives in a town where the men are men and sheep are afraid. Cliffwood Beach Barbie drives an old pick up truck and comes with a clam rake and 12 inch boat, a claming boat that is.
Edison Barbie: She moved here from some place in Philly, New York, or North, NJ. She is one tough lady don't get in her way when on the road, she owns it don't you know that. Her best friend was born and raised in this town and has the same last name both before and after marriage (think about that one) She drives a Cadillac or a big SUV and comes with a house and mirror to do her hair. No Ken,
here his name is Vito or big Sal doll.
Jamesburg Barbie: Enough said she has nothing no car, man or teeth. Comes with ripped jeans and tank top. Mouth that would make a trucker blush and smells like stale Budweiser and no-frills cigarettes. Has three kids calling her mommy and each one calls someone else daddy. Undergarments optional.
Old Bridge Barbie: Just a plain old slut. You can only buy her in the summer. She is the doll that wears make up on the beach. Comes with Beach wear and mustang convertible. Cannot include a Ken doll with this one she has a new Ken each night
Highland Park Barbie: Comes complete with perfect hair and nails, long black skirt (white socks), scarf, and a 1996 Ford Station wagon with wood paneling. Rabbi Ken and his 8 sons all sold separately
" Tenafly Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Riverside Square. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
" Paramus Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
" Asbury Park Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
" Alpine Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
" 609er(South NJ) Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
" Hoboken Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
" Tuckerton Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Deland Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
" Cranford Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two UCF Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
" Lodi Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
" Sussex County Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
" State House(Politicians) Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
"Monmouth County Barbie"
This Barbie is the true epitome of a shore girl. She doesn't need a man to make her feel good. She knows where the best waves are, and where to go to avoid the BENNIES. Her parents may or may not have money, but she is the definition of a REAL shore girl. No fake tan, drama, or guido ex-boyfriends. She knows what she wants, has a mouth on her, and yet always is classy. She can go from beach to bar in seconds. The bottom line is: If you are ever lucky enough to be with this girl, you have won the lottery...never let her go.
Morris County Barbie:
Comes with a complimentary credit card good at the rockaway mall, and when dipped in warm water, her skin tans. Comes with an 'easy to open package', there is no ken doll, but his brothers Brian and Robert are available for a limited time only.
Ocean County Barbie ( also comes with a 609 area code)
Gorgeous in every aspect, knows how to party and doesnt matter what day of the week it is. Pumps kegs, funnels beers. The only thing she chases are her shots, boys flock to her. Goes to the beach NOT the shore. Always willing to get down and dirty. Not prissy by any means plays sports, and plays them well. Goes to the best beaches and is not fazed but the fake people that live on the island for 2 months out of the year, she is able to appreciate it even in the winter. Whether rich or poor, neither is important; she is the best girl you will come by. Dont fuck with ocean county barbie because she'll burn you, bad. comes with a pair of rainbow flip flops and bottle of oil for the beach. Lives the best life there is; that of a beach bum. All other barbies are jealous of her hunky surfer boyfriend, Ken.
Here's another one
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Middlesex County dolls for the Central, NJ Market:
South Brunswick-Plainsboro Barbie: She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV; a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house.
Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Monroe Twp Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell Phone included, headset sold separately.
New Brunswick Barbie: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
Colonia Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
Piscataway-Middlesex Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
East Brunswick Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at The McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
South River Barbie: This gum chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of South River Pub Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also
available with a mobile home, trailer, and various accessories you can store in her front or side yard.
Fords-Hopelawn Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want nor need a Ken doll. If you purchase two Barbie's and the optional Subaru
wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
Perth Amboy Barbie: This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired Pennsylvania plates and three baby Barbie's' in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket Lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand from a lawn cutting accident. Green cards are not available for Perth Amboy Barbie or Ken.
North Brunswick Barbie: This is the Barbie that wishes she could live on Long Beach Island but she is not gay. She owns a Volvo loves to try and be a good mom, always has a soccer ball in the car for her kids. This doll comes with her sons monster Toyota pick up truck and a jet ski.
Laurence Harbor -Cliffwood Beach Barbie: Has no fear of men because she lives in a town where the men are men and sheep are afraid. Cliffwood Beach Barbie drives an old pick up truck and comes with a clam rake and 12 inch boat, a claming boat that is.
Edison Barbie: She moved here from some place in Philly, New York, or North, NJ. She is one tough lady don't get in her way when on the road, she owns it don't you know that. Her best friend was born and raised in this town and has the same last name both before and after marriage (think about that one) She drives a Cadillac or a big SUV and comes with a house and mirror to do her hair. No Ken,
here his name is Vito or big Sal doll.
Jamesburg Barbie: Enough said she has nothing no car, man or teeth. Comes with ripped jeans and tank top. Mouth that would make a trucker blush and smells like stale Budweiser and no-frills cigarettes. Has three kids calling her mommy and each one calls someone else daddy. Undergarments optional.
Old Bridge Barbie: Just a plain old slut. You can only buy her in the summer. She is the doll that wears make up on the beach. Comes with Beach wear and mustang convertible. Cannot include a Ken doll with this one she has a new Ken each night
Highland Park Barbie: Comes complete with perfect hair and nails, long black skirt (white socks), scarf, and a 1996 Ford Station wagon with wood paneling. Rabbi Ken and his 8 sons all sold separately
